screaming at low volumes
September died on the vine; A virgin still birth. November beat the hell out of October, So we had to stay inside until December. These months, so long standing in the snow in your bedroom, have left their marks so dear on your heart, that January decided he would quit while he was still ahead. … Read moreFall Into Winter
and there in my heart is still love, ugly and mistreated and malnourished with jagged edges and hard seams, it is still love, a wretched stone that pushes my belly out in lonely protuberance. I drown it in beer and wine and sometimes gin and whiskey. I wash it, but it never becomes beautiful, it … Read morenotes from summer 2015
i’ve been planning on dying since I was 9. i’ve been delayed by happiness, but it was nothing. feet are tired from this wandering exploration; the rich man’s dead heart ready for expropriation… put on a suit and write status reports, my blood on paper are ideas in concrete, always at the mercy of the … Read moreProject Management
it has been 8000 days, and longer in my arms, the breath of existence has scarcely fluttered. the slumbering heart, the mind in overdrive, how long have i chewed at my own legs? your voice, your eyes, your lips, their smile Oh! it has been a while. though it was only a minute ago i … Read moreTime
these beasts resting in the corners of my mind demand tribute, at least in the form of listening. I can not tolerate them, despite having lived with them since I was able to speak. To feed them: it is burden. They spin the dreams of joy and pleasure, of milk and honey, the almond trees’ … Read morewretchedness
how many suicides can i live? those wretched birds happy and in love, me, waddling like a duck out ‘a luck. Trip over broken glass from last night: the point i was trying to make from sundown to midnight … laying there shattered like my heart. it was only a bottle, i remind myself, it … Read morehow many suicides
lingering a bit too long upon those sweetest memories: the mind’s milk & honey. There have been so many, you’d need 10 lifetimes to remember them all. for every season, a fantasy! lips pressed into the longest kiss, disco Cinderella afternoons, eating cereal, watching cartoons, sun bathing on the perfect rock, coffee under oaks, rage … Read moreas it happens
slipping into the comfort of you, the masks and outfits and disguises all slipping off as i drip into you. my socks of shame, falling away my coat of humiliation, falling away my underwear coated in the filth of self-loathing, falling away my costumes rendered useless, falling away slipping into the joy of you, the … Read moreMerciful God
The god damned tears , curses from my father , and his father before him – biblical journeys of inheritance: I would give it all away, if it would go away… oh, to see it all in flames: a furnace of moments, things said, things read, the bloody innocence of a tortured puberty, the empty … Read moreTrain Hopping
Walking in with tight pants Some patronizing shit about recovering libidos One more beer and her name is forgotten… Lost to Oblivion. So glad we can be friends! This civilized world of uncivilized desires … set me ablaze in an arson’s fire Battles for control, Sure I’ll let you win: my pleasure is the loss.