Violence is a word that is sterile, anti-septic. Non-violence is the same. Each of these words, one the antonym to the other, are safe, academic words that don’t express the suffering they are supposed to describe. What is hidden under each word?
| Violence: fear, hurt, pain, searing, cold, weakness, ache, loss, grief, suffering, power, control, dominance, submission, rage, frustration, violation … | Non-Violence: reason, intellect, compassion, wisdom, kindness, love, determination, safe, tolerance … |
Gandhi once said something along the lines of, "The world has a choice: Nonviolence or non-existence." Within myself, I must consider my fears – that my "self" will be destroyed if I allow others’ violence against me. This is a profound fear; it seems based in the desire of every cell of my body to continue its own existence. That fear feels inborn – I have never been without it; walking alone or in a pack, there is the fear of my own flame being extinguished lingering in the background, keeping me company.
I have questioned the "how" of nonviolence – how do you get there? How do I stop what feels to be an instinctual reaction to protect myself? How do I accept force against me? How do I submit to my spirit, rather than to my body? How do I overcome things that aren’t even ideas, that were not taught to me, but seem to be there none the less? HOW?
I have asked these questions for what feels like a long time – though I imagine 5 years is not long enough to understand the spirit. Perhaps I should ask myself something else entirely: "What drove you to desire overcoming the violence inherent in the body?"