untitled #4

Lock me away
for our own safety,
hang me for
such crimes –
to betray you
shall condemn me –
chain me to a wall
Please, a payment to love,
still incomplete,
allow me sunlight
mere minutes a day.
Kiss my chest
with your teeth
and avoid all delicacy;
wander me in circles
in the waterless desert
until I am dead of thirst.
I shall hate that moment
for all the rest of my days,
I will never sleep
for the torment of it.
All my own sins; All my own
will wither me the flower,
the Sun having gone away
for all the wretched things I say…
Mine is a tongue that should be cut out,
my lips bolted together,
my heart stained scarlet
so the world will know my sins against love.
I can not gasp one more breath,
the fates have damned me
to always look in from the outside
for my alliance with the Devil;
and now I should pay my penance
for all of this existence
until the last memory of my crimes
be erased by the continents moving about.
I will have my eyes out
until the visions of your body
have evaporated into
this choking air I must breathe.
I shall drive a spike into my ears
that the sound of your laughter, your voice
will cease its torture upon me.
And these hands – they must be thrown out –
cut from the wrist by my carving knife
so I may never know the feel
of the light under your velvet skin
once more.
Now I should sit
in the dark halls of the Funeral Parlor
while the scent of your neck
escapes my dreams,
replaced by formaldehyde.
Let me go into the night,
without your memory,
in grief as lost souls.