what thought is plaguing me?
“I miss her laughter.”
i won’t die. I won’t, I know it.
It is better this way – less suffering,
perhaps.
I can not know my demons
I can not sleep again.
All I can do is scream quietly
into bland air, locked away, afraid.
I slept in the forest to avoid being sore.
I slept in the rain to avoid well placed kicks.
I slept in dumpsters so I wouldn’t get hit.
I robbed and lied and cheated and hurt
so that I would not live under a single fear.
I can not leave my house – except for cigarettes and booze.
it’s back.
and the worst of it is missing her laughter.
screaming at low volumes
